This short story is part of a new BTI series: 70% Fiction, 30% True.

As he puts him to bed his 8 year old son asks Papa please tell me again the story of how you met Mommy and the father smiles warmly and says oh my dear son it’s a sweeping romantic story for the ages (father takes an emotional breath) so it was Coachella Weekend 1 and Daddy had just booked his first pilot the week before in LA so he headed to Indio to celebrate with his crew cause they’d never seen Radiohead before and knew the experience would bring them closer together but first we went to the REVOLVE party because your Godfather Ronnie knew Kylie Jenner’s bodyguard from back in the day so after we slid into his DMs he got us on the list and once we were there I saw your mother front and center trying to dance on top of a swan in the middle of a pool and she was coming off a shit ton of MDMA and meanwhile Daddy had just put more coke up his nose than Scarface and we locked eyes and I waddled over to her wearing jorts and a Tommy Bahama shirt and a hat that said LIVIN COOL and I said god you are a fine fucking female what’s your name InstaBae what do you do and she was wearing this pocahontas style outfit from rag and bone with a bandana that said WANNA MINK that she bought on Etsy and she said omg I’m a public figure entrepreneur actress model DJ yoga teacher AND I make my own bathing suits my name is Lily and I said damn Lily how did you you start a company like that and she smiled super hot and said my silly daddy put 2 million in my bank account when I graduated so I’m really just starting out and then we went to the bathroom to finish the eight ball I had and 323 selfies and a firm handjob later we were making out poolside while Skrillex DJ’d behind us and on Night 2 she was on top of my shoulders moving to the music of Gucci Mane and later we shared fries with a large side of shrooms and Adderall and she pulled out her phone and said omg let’s go to the Zara event tomorrow also have you followed me on Insta yet you stallion fuckboi and I said of course baby and we kissed under the stars and one month later I proposed and the son smiles and says oh thanks daddy the story gets better every time.